Day-in-the-Life as a Legal Courtesan

Luna Robbie
Sep 8
10 min read

Once upon a time, one guy visiting for a tour asked:

“So what do you do when you’re not with someone—sit around and paint each other’s toenails?”

He was 40ish, dressed like someone who was coming to or from a golf course, and had been giggling with his guy friends throughout their entire lunch. It was my guess that he was trying to entertain or possibly impress them.

Instead of smacking him (hard!) like my limbic system wanted, I took a breath and a couple steps toward him as I asked my lizard brain to go back to meditating. My conscious mind took over and prepared to politely educate him.

I explained that we don’t usually have time for that, since all of the ladies here are busy with admin duties of any business owner, on top of which, most goddesses who work here are artists, community organizers, students, creatives, or have multiple businesses—so we usually only paint each other’s toenails when someone books a two-girl overnight with a proper sleepover theme.

Lizard brain may have partially woken up, because I added how wonderful it was that he’d found his way to a brothel, because he clearly doesn’t have a lot of experience with adult women.

It is an interesting experience to live and work with up to twenty four other ladies at a time in an environment designed to invite unexpected surprises. Some of us attempt daily routines between bar calls, lineups and appointments, and mine is led by self-care, curiosity, and desire.

While I’ve never been accused of being typical, I am asked about the specifics of day-to-day life so often I thought it would be fun to share some details about how a day might unfold in the life of a legal courtesan at Sheri’s Ranch once I’m settled in.

DAILY RHYTHMS

Regardless of where I am, my daily practices help me create a sense of stability. Especially at the ranch, the order and timing might wildly shift, but on my “normal” days it might look something like this:

Wake up: usually between 7 and 10 AM, depending on how late I stayed up (I am not a night owl).

Meditate: 20 minutes.

Coffee: I’ll either mix a (functional) mushroom coffee with water from the hot spot in the laundry room, or go down to the communal coffee pot in the kitchen.

If I go to the kitchen, I always try and walk outside (unless it is very very cold).

Walk: I check appointments for the day at the front desk and then if I don’t have any immediately, inform them that I’m going to “walk circles” in the roundish courtyard so they know where to find me if I have a request. I am often joined by lady friends or will cross paths with other lady friends doing the same, and it is an exceptionally beautiful way to spend mornings and sunsets.

Journal: I love to process my experiences through writing in my private journal, and also have what I call my “magic journal” where I spend focused time writing about my wishes until they come true. I will sometimes do this very first thing in the morning post-meditation with coffee and walk after because it seems to be very powerful to use my most hopeful morning energy, however sometimes answering time-sensitive emails take this slot instead.

Move My Body: GG, Genevieve or Veloria might join me in the ranch’s little gym, or I might do a solo workout on my mat in my room.

Swim: or cold-plunge in the winter. Once I’m nice and sweaty, I love to move my body in the water, whether it’s the refreshingly cold pool or swirling in the hot tub. Sometimes I’ll bring my bluetooth keyboard and a second round of coffee to answer email.

Shower: I often take multiple showers in the day depending on how it unfolds, definitely any time I get super sweaty or covered in chlorine.

Get Ready: While I do my best to always be in a presentable state of readiness, if I put on makeup (and I often do not, or forget, unless I have an appointment) this is when I might do it. Sometimes I skip it and go straight to picking out clothes.

Food: I love to eat. Whether I’m ordering from the kitchen, eating snacks or meal prep I brought, or a combination, the kitchen is our communal food space. Sometimes there are treats for the group left out on a community share table, sometimes there are interesting conversations or multiple group hangs depending on the time of day, or sometimes it’s a quiet nibbling meditation.

Walk Circles Again: even just five minutes of walking post-meal has been shown to regulate glucose levels, so I always try and do a digestion walk, which ladies at the ranch recently informed me are known as “fart walks” and now I am eagerly waiting for the day I get to do this with someone with a well-matched kink!

Depending on how my morning has been punctuated by appointments, requests, tours, lineups or bar calls, it might be 11 AM or 4 PM by this point, but once my routines are complete, I turn my attention towards work.

And depending on how social or sensitive I’m feeling, I might work on these things in the bar, the parlor, the kitchen, or my room, often broken up by walking a circle or few:

Email & DM Catchup: when I’m at the ranch, I try to get to email every day, and prioritize time-sensitive logistics questions. After that, I typically check my VIP OnlyFans DM’s, then my podcast/art-related emails for any extremely time-sensitive things. At this point, I usually need a stretch, a walk or a refill of my water bottle to break up screen time before diving back in until all emails/messages across all platforms are caught up on (which is a never-ending project).

Writing: if I know I have appointments coming up or am in recharge mode, I will often turn to my organized writing. Lately, that’s included these How to Brothel blog posts, my next solo miniseries project, my Sci Fi novel project, or commissioned erotic stories.

Photos: if I’m feeling my look or am in the mood for creative self-expression, I might do a little photoshoot of myself and/or of a lady friend!

Evening Food: at some point, I’ll get hungry again and have dinner, and then…

Walk More Circles!

And then I’ll do the bar swirl with admin catch-ups for as long as I have focus bandwidth, which is often not as long in the evenings or in cases where friendly beautiful ladies come over to chat.

Rarely do I end up doing all these things, and the parts that might nab my attention at any moment include:

Appointments: usually I have warnings about these (especially when I receive direct emails in advance!) but sometimes they sneak up on me. This is my favorite way to get distracted!

Requests: it’s always very exciting to get a call that a mystery person wants to meet me, this is a great reason to interrupt my routine. If I’m in the middle of showering or working out, it might take me a few minutes to greet an unexpected caller, however I am always excited to see who’s on the other end (ok maybe a little less excited between midnight and 6 AM).

Lineups: normally, these only interrupt whatever task I’m in the middle of for a few minutes—unless I get picked. For a real-life tinder experience, visitors intending to party may ask for a lineup, where all the ladies available within 3 minutes come out to introduce ourselves one by one for the guest to make a selection. I especially love them because I think it’s so exciting to see everyone together looking beautiful, and especially for those who might feel overwhelmed by the prospect of a long string of conversations in the bar, they’re great.

Bar Calls: a single bar call might stretch on for hours when a guest really loves to use the full 10 minutes of chatting time allowed with a lady in the bar (we love tips of all sizes!), so it’s great to have background admin tasks that can be completed with tiny bursts of focus, but it’s extra-great when there’s a bar call and a client easily finds the courtesan he likes (guests are allowed to approach ladies!).

Tours: a tour is supposed to take 10 minutes maximum, however when I find myself with a group of curious individuals I definitely can get lost brothelytizing.

And of course, any of the above might lead to a negotiation, booking and party, after which there is clean-up, showering, and maybe even more courtyard walks.

The day might also be peppered with things like getting called to the front desk to receive packages, fill out a report if someone negotiates with us and doesn’t book, making tea, eating snacks, and I often find myself observing beautiful clouds, sunsets and moonrises.

The most exciting surprises throughout the day though are always interactions with people. The ranch is full of excellent stories, whether from a lady, staff member or visitor. While I’m used to reveling in stories and getting personal on-pod, there is something special about the privacy and intimacy that the oasis of Sheri’s Ranch inspires, and the openness of sharing in a non-judgmental place is one of the many reasons I love my job.

And it’s hard to quantify or organize where in these dailyish tasks I might stop by a lady friend’s room to say hi or host a chat or co-working session in my Lunar Temple. This balance of the ability to bask in community or seek solo space when needed is one of my favorite things about each tour at the ranch.

WEEKLY RHYTHMS

There are also familiar rhythms that bookend each tour, which for me is one or two weeks, though some ladies do up to four consecutive weeks.

On Mondays if you find yourself in the parlor around 6:30 AM, you might find a batch of ladies waiting for 7 AM room selection, where it’s first-come first-serve choice of rooms (being in a big or little room has nothing to do with what we earn or our status in the house). If the room is already open, you can start moving in right away, but since ladies have up until noon on Wednesday of their tour to leave, it’s a roll of the dice.

Mondays are also not ideal days for outside morning walks because it’s when landscapers visit. During the seasons of dandelion puffs, I make sure to blow as many of them as possible before the yard guys arrive.

Tuesdays often feel like the most energetic day in the house because there is a lot of overlap of the coming week’s ladies arriving in addition to the ladies currently on the floor.

Every lady must arrive on Tuesdays in time to see the doctor for our weekly STI testing, and after that, it might be time for unpacking and room setup if the room is open, or we might stay in the ranch’s bunk room (it really is Hot Lady Summer Camp!), in which case I might swim, hot tub, move my body, start answering ranch emails if I have access, or catch up with ladies.

Clients who walk down the hallways on a Tuesday might notice a collection of 40-gallon storage totes in the halls with names on them. Each lady is allowed to keep up to four bins to store decorations for our room, toiletries, and other things we would otherwise need to schlep every tour. I love getting into my room on a Tuesday so I can get my bags and bins unpacked and put all my canopies and toiletries in just the right spots, so I’m ready to go first thing on Wednesday.

If it’s the end of a tour, I’m usually in packing mode on Tuesdays. At the end of two weeks, I usually leave by noon at the latest unless I have an appointment with someone I know will definitely show up for me. If it’s a one week tour, I usually start dismantling the Lunar Temple on Tuesday afternoon or sometimes evening and leave first thing Wednesday. Depending on how much packing angst I have and whether or not I’m interrupted by bar calls, requests, or visiting lady friends because I don’t want to pack, it usually takes me 4-6 hours, which is about how long it takes to set up.

Wednesdays are the start of each new tour. We get the “all clear” from the doctors usually by 9 AM, and as long as our Sheriff’s card is current, ladies are officially available for clients.

Every quarter, ladies have to fill out a bunch of redundant forms electronically and on paper, and go down to the Sheriff’s office to be fingerprinted and background checked.

If our room is not yet open and we have a request or appointment, we have the option to negotiate in a hospitality room and to party in various specialty rooms, though I definitely love when my visitors get to see my whole Lunar Temple setup (I know the power that cozy safety can create!).

And finally, Fridays are for karaoke, which one of our sweet regulars hosts for us every week. It’s definitely more about having fun than being excellent—but Sheri’s holds a lot of talent in so many ways. You might catch me with any of my favorite go-to’s:

Ben E. King - Stand By Me

Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

And I’m always happy to be a backup singer or join a group!

SEASONAL RHYTHMS

Time definitely moves differently at the oasis that is Sheri’s Ranch—my theory is that the sheer number of orgasms that have taken place there cause it to stretch and bend in surprising ways.

There are also seasonal rhythms; extremely hot summers melt into beautiful falls and freezing winters back to beautiful springs, so the outfits and the amount of time spent by the pool might shift, but no matter where I am, these are the types of things I’m often doing in the background.

At the time of writing this, I am 33 tours deep in just under four years, and each one feels like its own magical pilgrimage. Every coming and going is a marker for what I’ve learned since last time, what I’m working on now, and I always manage to find myself growing and expanding in the most wildly, delightfully surprising ways.

So no, we don’t usually paint toenails—I get a pedicure ahead of every tour for my foot worshipers. What I do every day is take care of myself so I can take exquisite care of others so we may all spread ripples of love.

OTHER DAY IN THE LIFE FAQs

Do ladies leave the ranch?

Since we invest the time and energy and pay to rent our rooms at the ranch, we want to be at the ranch. While we do not leave with clients like some of the Northern ranches, if a lady has an errand to run that is totally normal. We are adults free to come and go, not prisoners.

Do you masturbate between clients?

Often! I’m especially big on edging, but if a certain session was extra hot or teased me in some way…I might just have to relive some bits of it and reset my energy all over again.