008 | Why I LOVE Being a Legal Courtesan

"Make your work your play" is a phrase I grew up hearing—and I really took it to heart.

After more than a decade of resisting my dream job, I finally embraced my full creative nature (with the help of a mutual inspiration swirl from my bestie GG, you can hear our origin story here), let go of the last wisps of trying to fit in with societal norms (I never did fit, no matter how hard I tried!), and discovered my favorite oasis that is a magical upwards spiral of dreams come true.

Being a legal courtesan is a perfect fit for my inner creative creature, and a logical next step that dovetails nicely with my non-brothel jobs that include documenting sex lives through interviews, photo and video to help partners connect. Here's why:

1. CLARITY.

You want me.

I get to completely focus on you, and you love that.

I am aroused when someone shows a respectful desire for me.

I am a kindsexual: when you are nice to me and offer consistent evidence that you are a kind person who values me and wants to get intimate, my arousal will skyrocket.

Clear is kind. Clarity also creates a sense of mutual safety, which is hot.

We agree on what we’re going to do together and establish a dialogue of open communication from the get-go

This frame allows for greater physical pleasure, deeper intimacy, and begins trust-building.

We talk about how to handle discoveries of unknowns during our time together.

We stick to what we agreed upon during a play session and never negotiate up.

I am turned on by Collaboration!!!

I call sex “original creativity.”

During our time together, we are the most playful creative artists having fun together:

We share our vision.

We agree on the outlines of our co-creation.

We improvise the specifics as we go, inspired by the moment

We make mutual joy in every second of our time together.

We might debrief and plan for next time.

We leave each other better than we found each other—inspired and sparkly, ready to go out and meet whatever comes our way in this world.

2. COMMUNITY.

Even if you only ever visit once for a tour, you'll get to experience the unique feeling that exists in the least-judgmental place on earth.

Ladies: loving, open-minded, beautiful horny pervert goddess geniuses.

Staff: they keep this place running and do their best to take care of us; they all deserve a raise.

Regulars: building a connection over time, getting to see how people grow, and supporting them in reaching their personal, creative and professional goals is extremely rewarding

Our Beautiful Oasis: Ms. Kitchen, Magic Hot Tub, Chilly Pool, Mr. Gym, Madame Parlor, Lady Courtyard and all the Specialty Rooms keep the humans good company and provide sensual shelter from the sometimes harsh desert elements.

Desert Animals and Landscape: Raven, hare, bunny, kitty-cat, all the birds, beetles, bugs and lizards whose specific names I don't know yet, beautiful sky, amazing mountains, and the vast vistas that lead to them help me remember that I, too, am a part of nature.

3. INDEPENDENCE.

I love being in community at the ranch, and I love that I can participate in my own way.

Working in safe, legal ways that are in line with each of our values is empowering (and it's not a contest, but I have way more freedom of choice—and therefore feel more at ease with all of my choices in life—than any of my friends in the corporate world).

My time at the ranch funds my creative endeavors as an artist, allowing me full creative control to produce what I believe in, without oversight or censorship of investors or sponsors.

So not only do I get to travel to a favorite desert oasis every month or two to be nourished and inspired by my favorite muses, wherever I am I am always also writing, podcasting (check out How to Woo!), and exploring story-based ways to help people learn how to connect to themselves and each other.

4. STABLE NOVELTY AND ADVENTURE

I love meeting new people—especially when the frame of the connection is clear.

Even if it’s just for a tour!

Even better if I get to help a bucket list item be achieved.

Even better if they return regularly and we get to build a connection!

I love receiving stories of how you woo! Especially if I get to share them on-pod.

And personal stories in general—from my own clients, from guests who might not even be my clients (time permitting 😜), and from the ladies!!!

I love how much I get to learn by speaking to people who have so many different backgrounds and perspectives.

I LOVE learning about what people are into—first- and second-hand.

I LOVE how different every lover is!

5. INTIMACY.

I love being a global secret keeper.

While I love going deep with guests in conversation on my podcast How to Woo, there is nothing like figuring out how to actually woo another human being in real-time. Every human energy is a neverending unfolding puzzle, and I like looking for the hidden buttons.

We co-create a container of privacy, just for us.

We get to be exactly who we are in that moment, shed judgement, embrace our desires, and see what we discover.

We get to express ourselves freely, and allow some space for joy and peace.

6. ENERGY EXCHANGE.

I love the swirl of the exchange.

I love that I learn something new and different and valuable from everyone.

I love feeling purposeful.

I love feeling valued.

I have a money kink; it turns me on to get rented!

I love that my clients are worshipful lovers.

They come to be worshiped.

They treat me with the level of respect and desire they wish to receive.

They know that, because they are getting to skip all the slow “normal” steps of courting that build intimacy and show people we truly value them, money takes the place and allows us to fast-forward, skip ahead, and let go of any expectation for the future.

The clear energetic exchange creates a perfect container for us to be our full selves, co-create that deeply intimate experience, and remember how wonderful it is to be alive on this planet, in a human body, feeling connected.

My goal is always to spread ripples of love.

When I am feeling properly loved, I am clear on my life mission. I get more writing done, am more motivated to book travel plans and let people know when and where my next photoshoot pop-ups are going to be, and getting wanted and fucked by other people who value sex as much as I do is a HUGE life turn-on.

I love satisfying a partner. I’m usually in Top space these days, but my sexual awakening origin story was as a service submissive. And I was raised me to be loving, generous, and to share my gifts with humanity.

I love co-creating something unique, with someone, every time.

Every person has a unique energy signature.

My body is different every day.

I love experiencing, in the most personal ways, how similar and different we are.