✨ Virgin Parties ✨

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My first time.

Partnered sexual debut.

Winning devirginization.

While the concept of “losing” one’s virginity is often associated with harmful purity culture and rooted in a concept that reduces women to marriage chattel and devalues them for doing something totally natural, I also hear from tons of dudes who feel pressure to lose their virginity by a certain age (thank you, 40-Year-Old Virgin).

The “right time” is different for everyone, but if you’re ready to experience partnered pleasure and want the confidence that can come from being shepherded through milestones with an experienced, caring guide, visiting a legal brothel is a great option.

MY DEFINITION:

Going “all the way” with a partner is the simplest definition—yet this can mean very different things to different people.

For many straight people, “losing virginity" happens when they “have sex” for the first time, usually meaning penis in vagina (P-in-V). For others, it’s getting all the bases—kissing, hand stuff, mouth stuff—plus the home run of penetration.

Anal is not usually assumed, or “anal virginity” is specified, though in some heavily religious places like where I grew up, it’s also known as a loophole and “doesn’t count” as sex for ladies who are saving their pussies for a future husband.

For gay men, however, anal is usually part of the definition of virginity loss, with some vers guys further specifying between losing their Top (penis-giving) and bottom (anal-receiving) first times.

Some lesbians may also include these differentiations, and queer femmes I’ve spoken with tend to have the most open definitions of sex while also seeming to have the highest amount of sex-related communication and satisfaction. For some lady-lady pairings, penetration is never part of the equation, but genital-related pleasure with hands and mouths typically is. I’ve only heard “strap-on virginity” used as its own separate delineation for a first time, and have not yet met someone who identifies as lesbian that feels they need a dildo to competently do or be done by their partner.

I’ve also noticed bisexual/pansexual lovers also tend to specify losing their gay and straight virginities, and usually these reports have the spirit of exploration and playfulness. And in these cases, I’ve had one anecdotal instance of a lady differentiating between strapping a lady lover and donning a dick to peg (a penis-owner, in the butthole).

Orgasms are part of it for some people, or sometimes only for one person in the pair, but most people still think devirginization counts even if neither party comes, and while I have yet to meet a person who dislikes orgasm, I know people (myself included) who don’t need to “get there” to experience a ton of pleasure or define an experience as sex.

I’ve also encountered individuals who identify as a “Virgin 2.0”—either they had such little experience or the gap in their sex lives was so long that they feel like they’re starting all over.

When I’m at the ranch, my virgin lovers, regardless of gender, are typically seeking an experience that will boost confidence. With me, this looks like interactive hands-on tutorials that are tailored to each person (details below) and typically include a mix of talk and touch designed to empower communication and exploration with future partners.

WHY I LOVE IT:

I spent years in young adulthood wishing I had someone I could trust to really help me understand sex, and now I get to be the sexy mentor younger-me always wished for.

I had plenty of great partners in my early twenties, but I hadn’t developed my communication skills and was mostly following the lead of people who I assumed were more experienced than I was—it wasn’t until much later that I learned how much more quality of experience matters than quantity.

At 27, I met a partner who had a wealth of knowledge to share, loved how full of desire I was, and created a connection of safety and trust that allowed me to explore my own erotic self on a whole new level by asking me on our first date, “What if you never had to feel embarrassed with me?”

This level of care is what I aspire to offer each of my lovers—and it’s especially exciting when I get to help form delicious, healthy pleasure patterns in partnership from the get-go.

My sex nerd parts that have been on a focused mission of practical, relatable, entertaining sex education since 2018 get excited to create a custom-tailored curriculum on the fly, and sometimes my relationship coaching and photographer parts also get to come out to play when people are embarking anew on dating apps.

And: it’s special, sweet, and super hot.

DETAILS AND VARIATIONS:

Whether someone shows up for a quickie so they can cross it off their list or saves up so we can take our time and spend an hour or few together, as long as we have priorities and clarity, we can have a fantastic time.

Bucket Lister

Sometimes, 7 minutes in heaven is all someone needs. I had one partner who, in the most good-natured way, just wanted to “get it over with” because he felt like he was building it up too much, was starting to create a mental block, and just wanted to see that it could be easy and fun to be with another person—without worrying about “lasting too long.”

A quickie like this usually allows for a little warm-up, a couple of positions, and a finale. Sometimes, it’s extremely satisfying to be a little more goal-oriented; however, I only recommend this for someone who does not struggle with nervousness.

Basics of Basic Sex

If we have a solid 30 minutes to spend together, this can be enough time to do what’s basically a sampler platter.

It’s enough time to model communication, show a few different ways I like to explore and arouse a partner’s body before getting to genitals, go over pussy anatomy basics and variations to look out for since every vulva is unique, then a show-and-tell for hand-to-pussy pleasure, and I especially like to emphasize delicious teasing, not just trying to get me to come as fast as possible.

We typically have time to practice rhythms in the classic positions (or whatever variations make the most sense for how our bodies fit together): cowgirl, missionary, doggy, and spooning.

Classic Tutorial

This is usually an hour-ish, and gives us time to move more slowly as we explore the touch, talk and positions mentioned above.

This session also allows space to play with oral both directions; I can show you exactly how slow and gentle to go when starting out with your tongue on a vulva, I will teach you how to communicate even if your mouth is otherwise occupied, and over and over again I will remind you to be slower and gentler and to connect and check in.

And then we’ll switch, and I will offer you not just an incredible experience of oral sex, but how to create a safe space with future partners who have quite likely had bad experiences giving head, and how to communicate in ways that invite the pleasure that you’d like to receive from future partners.

I love these sessions because, while I’m listing all of this linearly in order to organize for writing and reading purposes, the longer session allows us to sample everything and then go back to the parts we want to explore, and one of my favorite things about sex is co-creating a playground that’s made from our bodies we can pinwheel through, rather than an escalator of bases where we are required to go from one step to the next.

For anyone who feels nervous, this is probably the minimum length of time you’ll want.

Extended Lessons + Dating Coaching

For those who want a leisurely amount of time to practice, who have a lot of questions about sex or, if you’re with me, human patterns and relationships, or if you want help taking pictures for and/or writing your dating profile, I would recommend this route.

This allows us plenty of time to connect and drop in, to visit and revisit different experiences of pleasure together since it’s fun for me at least to see how my arousal changes minute to minute, hour to hour, and we can also have multiple rounds between talking, whether it’s about relationships or simply seeing what it’s like to create relationship in intimate space with another person.

I met one young man who was so nervous to even be talking to a woman at all, since he’d only ever been around girls in high school, had been shy, was raised by his uncle, only had brothers, and the job he’d had for his first six years of adulthood was with all-male coworkers.

I also have spoken with many dudes through the years who have had painful experiences being “friend zoned,” so it can be really fun to show how friendship can be a launch pad for a different level of connection when the right mutual energy is there—and that energy needs to be co-created.

In another instance, a client wanted to have the whole experience of picking someone up for a date and going the whole way. We went swimming, flirted, ate lunch together, teased each other, played strip Jenga, took a bubble bath, and then we organically felt our way into everything, with a lot of the guidance being woven in with me using phrases like, “will you do it like this?” and “try this now.”

In a separate scenario, I had a sweet submissive who wanted me to come on strong the entire session, give him orders the entire time, and then I sent him on his way with instructions to either find a Dominant partner to please, or if he fell for someone who wanted him to lead, to please me by serving her as a Top if need be.

So the sky’s really the limit. This session definitely allows for the greatest experience and intimacy, and whether someone comes in with specific or vague goals or nervous or very excited body parts, it definitely allows for maximum exploration and play.

Bring a friend

I love when dudes are close and open enough with each other to share their experience status.

Once upon a time, GG and I met a pair of virgin friends, hit it off, paired off, and not long after, we were devirginizing them in parallel, one wall away from each other.

A couple years later, GG and I met a different pair of friends, hit it off, but…when it came time to pair off, we had a hard time choosing who would be with who, and they weren’t up for a quad. In fact, they admitted it would be a first time for each of them…so GG and I got extremely excited, and in a whispered sidebar conversation, decided to offer them a swapping scenario so they could have their first and second times together, back to back, and to make a very hot double-virgin story succinct: a great time was had by all, and I will always and forever remember the moment where we realized we didn’t have a plan for swapping naked men in the hallway, so instead of ruining the flow by making them get dressed again, we decided to wrap each one in our respective kimono robes and traded them back later.

At the ranch, we’ve also had plenty of uncles, grandparents, and even sometimes parents bring in a younger generation for their debut, and while the extent of my direct experience here is limited to giving head rubs and back scratches to a dad who was wing manning for his son, I say more power to you as long as all parties involved are there comfily and consensually.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you’ve trained yourself to come with porn, especially vigorously, especially without lube, I really, really invite you to explore different parts of your erotic being solo in different ways before inviting in a partner in any context.

I do a masturbation meditation sensation exploration of edging every September as my own personal back to school (yes the videos are available on onlyfans.com/lunarwoohooha) where I experiment with touching myself in different mindful ways every day for 10-20 minutes to see what I discover—and I do my best to not come at all for the entire month of September.

Or if you want to explore nonphysical touch before you meet up with a lady of your choice, you could explore written erotica, or audio, people are always telling me about the r/gonewildaudio subreddit or for longer form stuff, I definitely get into details on classic How to Woo interview episodes, and I also encourage you to explore in ways that call to you—following your creative inspiration, in my experience, always leads to the hottest places.

Also if you’re a penis owner and have desensitized yourself with very intense or rough stimulation, the advice that Emily Morse gives is to try masturbating in a condom. I have not directly heard from anyone who has done this, but am so excited for the day I finally interview someone who has done it enough to have some meaningful data.

WHO IT’S FOR:

Anyone at any age who wants to feel safe and supported in connection that includes but is not limited to physical touch, regardless of previous experience.

Or as the title suggests:

Virgins of All Ages.

Questions?

Let me know :)